WHAT WE THOUGHT ADOPTION WAS

What We Thought Adoption Was: And What We Know Now

A Mother and Daughter's Journey of Learning Together

When we began our adoption journey, we thought love would be enough. We thought connection to first family would prevent loss. We thought reassurance would quiet fear. We thought understanding would come easily.

We were wrong about some things-and we learned so much more.

Written in the authentic voices of a mother and daughter, What We Thought Adoption Was: And What We Know Now is a collection of honest conversations about adoption, loss, trauma, anxiety, belonging, boundaries, and the power of connection. Through alternating reflections, Carla and Clara Rylett share what they thought, what they experienced, and what they have come to understand together.

This is not a story about having all the answers. It is a story about learning, healing, and continuing to show up for one another. It is about the realities that many adoptive families live but few talk about openly. It is about discovering that being safe and feeling safe are not always the same thing, that healing takes a village, and that love is not the absence of hard things, it is the commitment to walk through them together.

Filled with personal photographs and heartfelt conversations, this book offers hope, understanding, and reassurance to adoptive families, caregivers, educators, and professionals who support children impacted by trauma, loss, prenatal exposure, and anxiety.

Most of all, this book is an invitation to feel less alone.

Because adoption wasn't the end of our story.

It was the beginning of a lifetime of learning, grieving, growing, healing, and loving together.

And we're still learning.